The Questionnaire: Nell Ayotte

An adaptation of Proust’s questionnaire, weekly, for one of our community members.

Nell Nancy Ayotte is an artist and writer living on the land of the Lək̓ʷəŋən peoples of the Songhees nation. Inspired by nature, maximalist décor, ancestral ties and the ethereal, Nell’s work strives to reflect community, fluidity, infinity and the self. The open faces invite you to dissolve into the artwork's world and imagine yourself gazing back at you.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Feelings of happiness for me are synonymous with feelings of connection & wholeness. When I am out  walking on a clear day–when things are visible and shining, and revealing their true nature to me as I move alongside them, I feel like I am moving in tandem with my environment and this gives me a sense of being a part of something larger than myself. 

What is your greatest fear?

Macro fears include climate catastrophe and systems of  colonial terror. Micro fears include weighted blankets and getting trapped in an elevator. 

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Sometimes I forget that we are multidimensional beings and that unity consciousness is both a noun and a verb—a living, active organism that enmeshes us all.  Then I remember, and I have a moment of rolling my eyes at my self. Hahaha I think the eye-rolling is the deplorable part. We are all creatures of remembering and forgetting. 

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

I think it’s the same thing I am working on in myself–allowing myself the eye-roll while also forgiving myself for the eye-roll. 

Which living person do you most admire?

There are a number of people,  artists and activists out in the world moving with grace and integrity in a time that is so uncertain and chaotic. I have deep admiration for anyone who is working towards a benevolent & equitable world.  

What is your greatest extravagance?

I am a thrift horse. Sequins. Silks. Patterned dishes…It’s all art!

What is your current state of mind? 

Openness. 

On what occasion do you lie?

I have been practicing radical honesty with myself and trying to follow whatever path that takes. 

Which living person do you most despise?

Hahahaha pass! 

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Humour & fluidity

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Humour & fluidity. 

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I use the adjective Beautiful a lot. There is just so much beauty. *Shrugs shoulders* I don’t know what else to say. It’s all a beautiful, messy soup!

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

I remember hearing for the first time Nasa’s recordings of Earth and I wept. She’s brilliant and bountiful and precious. It was like hearing a torch song. 

When and where were you happiest?
I have been discovering so much happiness presently in  co-creative relationships—whether that is in the studio, out in community or with my partner.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I was multilingual. To be fluent in a myriad of  languages. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I often tell people that I’m 5’7, which is technically untrue but emotionally sound.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My ability to run towards love.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A Pegasus.

Where would you most like to live?
Among people that I love, with walls that are full of art and shelves that are overloaded with plants.

What is your most treasured possession?
My health.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Isolation. Not aloneness but disconnectedness.

What is your favorite occupation?
Artist. 

What is your most marked characteristic?
My art. People have called it strange and soothing. Timeless and resounding.

What do you most value in your friends?
Openness.

Who are your favorite writers?
Mary Oliver, Haruki Murakami, Kazuo Ishiguro, Lucia Berlin…

Who is your hero of fiction?

I recently remembered my second grade teacher reading us Maniac Mcgee. It has since been labeled a “banned book,” or in some places remains a “challenged book”, but it really stuck with me. Maybe Mcgee is the hero, or maybe Mrs. Paquin is. Likely both are. 

How would you like to die?

Old and in my sleep, after a really fantastic party!  

What is your motto?

Here for a good time AND a long time.